Sort-ery

If I could have one job in the Harry Potter Universe, it would be that of the Sorting Hat. 

Really, if you think about it, it’s the best job in the world. Sitting on people’s head, reading their thoughts, and judging them through your hole. And to be honest, I am perfect for this job, because I already do it in real life. 

But, in fact, I’m better than the Sorting Hat. I sort people into not one, but TWO houses. Therefore the houses are Slytherin-Gryffindor, Slytherin-Ravenclaw, Ravenclaw-Hufflepuff, Gryffindor-Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw-Gryffindor and Hufflepuff-Slytherin. I also have Voldemort, Umbridge and Muggle for the real shitty ones. So that’s nine categories, and a fairly accurate description of people.

For example, take Jane Eyre. She’s an orphan with “very little prospects”. But she works hard at her school and makes a governess out of herself. When she gets her inheritance from her uncle, she doesn’t think twice before sharing it with her new-found cousins. This places her firmly into Hufflepuff.

 But there is another aspect of her. Her free-will. Despite her situation, she only takes decisions which show her independence. She stands up to Mrs Reed, when she was locked into the deceased Mr Reed’s room. This is where we see the fire in her otherwise calm demeanor. After the disaster of her own wedding, she runs away with only 20 pounds. This shows her pride. Later she reflects, that she would rather be a penniless woman doing a respectful job, than live with Mr Rochester as his mistress. This shows that aspects of Gryffindor are entwined with a dominant Hufflepuff. Thus Jane Eyre can be accurately described as a Hufflepuff-Gryffindor.

Of course, she also shows traits of the other houses, like Ravenclaw, when she shows willingness to learn German as well as Hindi. However, she shows neither ambition, nor cunningness. She is definitely not a Slytherin.

Could a Sorting Hat do that? 

Thought so.